Best And Worst Christmas Movie Parents | Episode: #303 |NSFW

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It's shootin', folks.

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But first, dad jokes.

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Besides not paddling and taking horrible pictures, my wife is a good lady.

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She drinks red wine, which is kind of a double-edged sword, because it makes her horny, but it also turns her teeth the purplish grayish color.

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[Laughter]

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It's like I'm having sex with a Dickens character or something.

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She runs in the room. Hello, Gavna!

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Alright.

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Turn around, gingivitis, brush your teeth.

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Have you been on a desert island with only fruit roll-ups?

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What is wrong with your mouth right now?

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Wake up, daddy.

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Welcome! Welcome to the Dad's Home podcast.

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For your Christmas edition here in 2024.

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In fact, two days before Christmas in 2024, I'm Bauer.

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I'm Bauer. That is Mr. Chad.

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Chad, how are you?

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I'm well.

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Good.

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My Christmas balls are hanging.

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That's what they should be.

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That's what they should be.

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I mean, the hope for all of us to really.

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Yeah, to this Christmas solver looking for these days.

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Well, welcome to the podcast.

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We had some alpha-the-shelf stuff we were gonna be doing today.

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That's blown up.

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But I also want to say this.

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I came across something last night that I want to run past us

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and see if we can do a little scientific test here, Mr. Chad.

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And that is this.

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So I've never been that.

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I like myself a good Saturday night live every now and again.

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My 17-year-old daughter, Charlie, has become an uber fan

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of Saturday night live.

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Like she really loves the weekend update thing

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with Colin Jost and Michael Chase.

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She's a huge fan.

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Sure.

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She is in, like, locked in for us.

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Every time there's a new episode that comes out,

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she's thrilled and can't wait to watch it.

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I've kind of like, "Hey, I've seen enough of them.

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I know they kind of suck sometimes."

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But we watched the last night's episode,

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which for all intents and purposes, I'll say is the first 25 minutes of it

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was absolutely hilarious.

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Absolutely hilarious.

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Martin Short was the guest host and was on with the Christmas special.

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And he's on that now officially, the opening, the cold-upen was,

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he is now hosted five times.

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So he's a member of the five-time club for all the hosts that have hosted five times.

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So he makes his own along with Tom Hanks was there.

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Paul Rudd was in it, like all these people who have hosted five times were all there.

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It was a great opening for the whole deal.

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But what happens usually, and certainly has,

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and since I can remember when I was a kid, it didn't seem like it,

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but now it seems like more and more, they rely too heavily on the teleprompter/card guy.

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Like you can see clearly in this today's new high-definitioned age of television,

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you can see them just staring at the camera trying to read this one.

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And they're on it.

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Yeah.

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So this was a great they had after, when Martin Short gets into his monologue.

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And you would think like these people have been on SNL.

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They know they should be rehearsing.

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They know that there's a rehearsal time during the week.

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They know they should have some kind of an understanding as to what their role is.

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What their role is in that scene or in that sketch.

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And it felt like Martin Short didn't.

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So he sings this song, which I think is, I thought it was brilliant.

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It's a brilliant song at the monologue, but I also realized as I was watching it,

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fuck, if he could have just taken his eyes off the monitor and sang the song,

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it would have been great, but I'm sure he didn't have time to rehearse all of that stuff, right?

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So here's the study that I want to do.

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Well, they very well could have been making changes right up until.

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Absolutely, right?

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Absolutely.

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You know, I mean, I've the stuff I've read and seen about Saturday Night Live is that they're doing stuff,

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writing stuff all the way up to Showtime.

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And you know, when they do a run through, they're throwing some skits out,

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some skits are in, they probably still making changes.

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I would know.

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Why would a coke while they're doing it?

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I would hope that any musical number they have in the monologue,

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they're going to pretty much walk into it, right?

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Sure.

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But hey, if I could throw an extra joke in there at the last second, like, hey, this would be funny,

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I'm throwing that shit in there.

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And that's the thing because when they don't just do musical numbers,

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so the musical numbers and a lot of the cases,

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there's something else going on, like a Broadway tune where they have to kind of stop down,

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do a little bit of a scene and then they can get back to the musical number, right?

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Anyways, so here's the point.

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Sure.

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I want to do this test, which is, for those of you watching this podcast on YouTube right now,

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or watching it on Spotify, you're going to have the easier run of,

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actually technically, I think it's easier for the people just listening to the audio,

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just listening to the audio version of it because they won't be able to tell either way.

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But I want to know if the visual and watching Martin Short perform while watching the teleprompter,

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fucks this up and makes it sound crappy,

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and then we'll test it out because later on,

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we'll listen to just the audio version of it and see if it sounds any better.

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If you think that it's still funny or not funnier, better than what we saw in the video.

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If that makes sense, are you ready for a little test here?

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Let's go.

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Okay, this is their Christmas edition for 2024.

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It's him talking about how parents and everybody are just kind of stressed out as they get ready for the holidays.

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Let's pay attention to this.

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Get the run, youngsters.

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And Keenan.

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You know the holidays are always stressful and sure the world is going crazy,

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but you know what?

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I have a solution, really?

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For the purpose of this bit, sure. And I'll tell you how.

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Or I couldn't sing it that is a cute ride with you.

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[Applause]

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This is not children.

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Oh no, it's Christmas.

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You checked out pre-UC ProVokes and I had a good Christ.

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It's Christmas with you tight-spressed and dread your heads about to explode.

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[Music]

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So you need a new prescription just to get through Christmas.

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Take a little edge off, make sense of your existence.

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Just you need a new prescription.

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It's lie higher than blitzing.

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Don't snort snow and don't smoke holly.

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Here's my plan to make you jolly.

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Maws are hopping.

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Dr. Shopping, most psychiatrists.

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Oh, doctor, I mean despair.

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What seems to be the problem?

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I had this recurring dream where I'm eating army hammer.

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Mama!

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Thank you.

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[Music]

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The Benzos.

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Benzos.

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Yes!

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Or a cat, a mean spirit.

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Oh boy.

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Cause you need a new prescription.

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You call the health risk of death.

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Sad, it has his albs and I have Marty's little helper.

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I want a bike and Xbox and the newest iPhone.

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Yeah, pretty much.

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Get lost, kid!

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[Laughter]

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Oh, Santa.

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No, don't leave.

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What do you want for Christmas?

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Well, I want world peace, but I need preparation age.

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Cause you need a new prescription.

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And take it from this scooter.

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Get those meds before they're outlawed by our obeyed junior.

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Yes, you need a new prescription.

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But nothing from the sackmas.

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You need a new prescription now.

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Oh, Lauren!

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You smell wonderful.

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I didn't know Jack Daniels made cologne.

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[Laughter]

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God, I'm attracted to you!

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[Laughter]

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[Cheering]

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[Cheering]

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[Cheering]

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He never kissed me like that anymore.

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[Laughter]

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Yes, we need privatization.

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Pharmaceutical correction.

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And drug-induced endegyah regarding the election

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and preferably something that will kill my erection.

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We need a new prescription.

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[Cheering]

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Now!

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[Cheering]

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[Cheering]

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See, now I thought I thought that was brilliant.

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I thought it was a brilliant--

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That is.

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--brily written, actually.

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Well, yes.

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I feel like from watching the opening, the cold opening,

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then going to that, and then the sketch that they had afterwards,

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I felt like it was very heavily Tina Fey influenced,

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which I thought was super cool.

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Because we haven't seen Tina Fey in a long time.

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She was in the opening sketch.

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She's a five-time host for Saturday Night Live.

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So she's a part of that club.

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And I felt like it just felt really heavily Tina Fey to me.

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But I thought that was a fantastic song.

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A little off just because of the looking at the teleprompter the whole time.

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Did you get that feeling watching that?

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Did you get the feeling that was just a little too much teleprompter watching?

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There was a couple of times where that was incredibly obvious.

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But there was--

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I think that they did a good enough job.

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That's the first time I've seen it.

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Right.

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So for me, I'm fresh.

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Right.

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I'm sure if I watch it again, I could probably pick out some more stuff.

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But there were only two or three times in there.

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I was like teleprompter, teleprompter.

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But I was going to say there was enough transitions between scenes or hallways or whatever that.

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It felt almost like deliberate that he was delivering the song to the camera.

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Right?

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Even though teleprompters probably roll along with him.

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But let's put it this way.

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It didn't probably bother me all that much.

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That's my takeaway because I was so focused on the lyrics and what he was going to say or do next that teleprompter thing didn't take away from it.

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It didn't, but it didn't.

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The story is being weird at all.

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No.

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No.

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And this is one of these things I think that when you make video, you make shows, they are all...

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You can spend too much time trying to tweak something that doesn't really matter to the end audience.

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Right.

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The end audience is going to watch that and go, "Oh, that's hilarious.

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That's funny.

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Look at him.

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Do this physical comedy thing."

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Yeah.

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And because he's reading the teleprompter, that's the last thing on their mind.

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I struggle with this when I've written stuff.

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It's like, you know, "Okay, it's got to be this, but really the audience could give us it."

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Like how they feel about it is...

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And especially in this day and age too, where we're sort of like short attention span theater, everything happens instantaneously.

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And then, "Okay, onto the next thing."

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Well, having thought about that.

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And that's the thing.

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Like I felt like, "Am I being too picky on this?

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I'm being a little too picky about this."

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Because it wasn't enough that it threw me off.

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In fact, it made me go, "Wow, this is really good, especially for him walking through the back hallways of SNL."

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It felt like this is really well done.

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All things considered.

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But I mean, that's beyond season older guy.

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So all of that.

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There's some scenes he looked a little winded.

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But it's your end of it all.

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I mean, I thought that was a Broadway-ish, funny song that I thought sounded absolutely great.

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Just a little off.

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And that's the only thing I kept thinking to myself.

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It was a little...

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It's rehearsal time.

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You're not wrong there.

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Because that show is...

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I mean, it's a new show every week, right?

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So they're hard to work right now on next week's show.

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Right.

253
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They're starting to write stuff, post stuff together for next week's show.

254
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,000
So it happens every show is every week.

255
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:54,000
I mean, I'm sure they have some stuff that's evergreen, but for the most part, it's like,

256
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,000
"Okay, what are we doing this week? Who's our guest?"

257
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,000
Right.

258
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,000
He's gonna use his talent.

259
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,000
His or her talent, right, to their benefit...

260
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,000
To pump up the funny.

261
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000
Sure.

262
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,000
And so I'm sure a lot of that is last minute.

263
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,000
And I'm sure...

264
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:14,000
Yeah, had he probably run through that another, you know, 10, 15 times, it probably would have been flawless, right?

265
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,000
But I'm sure he probably Thursday afternoon...

266
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,000
That's what I was saying, too.

267
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,000
Like, if he had been there Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, even if he had been there Tuesday, Wednesday,

268
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,000
this probably would have gotten a little bit smoother.

269
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,000
And there was a lot... there was a lot that was going on in regards to it.

270
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,000
And I thought that all things considered it was great.

271
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,000
I couldn't have done a better job.

272
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,000
That's for sure.

273
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:39,000
But I just felt like a little more rehearsal, a little less reliance on the card.

274
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,000
Or the teleprompter is the case, maybe.

275
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000
Might have made that better.

276
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:47,000
But again, we'll test this out because I don't know if you spend any time closing your eyes,

277
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,000
just thinking about hearing it.

278
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:53,000
For those of you who are watching on YouTube, you're not gonna have to do that later.

279
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,000
We're actually just gonna play the audio portion of it.

280
00:12:55,000 --> 00:13:00,000
So you can tell whether or not it just sounds better than maybe it actually appeared

281
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,000
if you were watching it on Saturday night, live last night.

282
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,000
That's just the science experiment that I want to look at here.

283
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,000
Maybe I'm just being too picky about it.

284
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,000
Maybe it sounds better than I thought.

285
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,000
Maybe.

286
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:15,000
That said, Mr. Chad, I got a quick question here for you, which in looking at Reddit this week,

287
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:20,000
I thought this is a question that I haven't had a whole lot of times in my life to come up with.

288
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:26,000
But an answer for it, I think is something that we should all have kind of ready to go at the ready.

289
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,000
This is all right, Dads.

290
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:31,000
You're given 48 hours to yourself.

291
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,000
That doesn't happen.

292
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000
This is all for a long period of...

293
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,000
48 hours to yourself.

294
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,000
You can do anything you want.

295
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000
What are you doing?

296
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,000
Anything you want.

297
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,000
Anything at all.

298
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,000
Nothing is out of the question.

299
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,000
It's 48 hours.

300
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,000
Nothing.

301
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:52,000
I mean, again, within legal ramifications, you can't go out doing something.

302
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,000
Oh, damn it.

303
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000
Rest, I know.

304
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,000
I'd like to take away all my good ideas.

305
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,000
I know.

306
00:13:56,000 --> 00:14:00,000
One of the responders says, "I would finish a movie in one sitting."

307
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,000
Any movie I don't care what.

308
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000
I just want to roll credits.

309
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:08,000
And I'll order pizza and I'll eat a slice within 10 minutes of it being delivered.

310
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:16,000
Which I think is very applicable to Dads who don't usually get that kind of a time frame.

311
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,000
Yeah.

312
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,000
That's, yeah.

313
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,000
Another one says...

314
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:26,000
And then some are adding on like the tricky part is to finish the third or fourth slice while it's still warm.

315
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:29,000
And one says, "Hey, now we aren't magicians."

316
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:36,000
Somebody else says that this person was on paid time off while the wife wasn't in the kids were daycare yesterday.

317
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000
I made a pot of coffee.

318
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:42,000
Warmbed up some leftover pizza, cracked the surround sound system and watched alien Romulus.

319
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000
It was magnificent.

320
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,000
There you go.

321
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,000
So, yeah.

322
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:50,000
But it sounds to me like that dude doesn't have 48 hours in a row.

323
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,000
Right.

324
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000
Somehow broken up.

325
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000
Somehow like you get four hours here.

326
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,000
You get another six over here.

327
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,000
Yeah.

328
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,000
Yeah.

329
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,000
I'm thinking consistent straight forward 48 hours.

330
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,000
What do you do?

331
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:07,000
This person says, "Usual might go to a steak, beer, and a movie with sound on a decent level.

332
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000
That's bliss."

333
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,000
I mean, they've ever seen this like...

334
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,000
I get the fuck out of town.

335
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,000
Do I probably am gonna go?

336
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,000
Yeah.

337
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000
I would...

338
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,000
Would you go play golf?

339
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,000
Or would you go play golf?

340
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,000
No, I think probably I'd go fish.

341
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:32,000
I mean, I would just go get in a river and let that zan of fly fishing be the thing that takes me away for the 48 hours.

342
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:39,000
And then in there, I'm sure there's a steak and a beer in a movie, but some of that time has to be spent outnourse for me.

343
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,000
So, sleep for 12...

344
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,000
He's got this whole plan.

345
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:49,000
Sleep for 12, relax for a few, maybe a walk, sleep, relax, sleep, then get ready for the return to chaos.

346
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,000
Damn, dude.

347
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000
Like that's like the scary...

348
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,000
Monday, scary is or whatever, and like he's starting that halfway through.

349
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000
Right.

350
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,000
Okay, my 48 hours is up.

351
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:03,000
You got to lick up the last morsel of that time, man.

352
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,000
The countdown is already begun.

353
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000
The minute they're gone.

354
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,000
Dude, the countdown's begun already.

355
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,000
Yeah, you got to...

356
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:13,000
At hour 47 and 59, right?

357
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:18,000
You got to be sliding in home, hair on fire, wheels coming off.

358
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,000
That's how you have to come in.

359
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:23,000
If you get 48 hours to yourself, you have to use it wise.

360
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,000
That's what you have to like, you know, yellow.

361
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:31,000
This dad says, this is the most relatable thing I've read in a minute.

362
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,000
Day one, plan out the things I'll do with this abundance of time.

363
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,000
Also realize I've wasted a day and tell myself I'll do better tomorrow.

364
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,000
Then day two, start planning out what I'll do with this limited time left.

365
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,000
Realize the house is a mess and the wife will be back tomorrow and decide to tidy up.

366
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000
Then go to sleep to feed her.

367
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,000
Okay, yeah.

368
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,000
Sure.

369
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,000
Yeah.

370
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,000
I mean, that is the true definition of a dad right there.

371
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,000
That is absolutely a thousand percent what it's like.

372
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,000
Yeah.

373
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,000
Netflix paralysis on steroids.

374
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,000
I have a two hour window Monday nights after dinner to myself to do whatever I spend.

375
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:05,000
Most of it trying to figure out what to watch while I iron clothes and do dishes

376
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:10,000
and usually don't find anything until I only have 15 minutes left.

377
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,000
Did you got to do a better job of planning things out here?

378
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,000
Come on.

379
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,000
You can have a dream.

380
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,000
I believe it's a dream list for dads right now.

381
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:24,000
But there are certain things like I haven't watched yet with this new season of the old man,

382
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000
which I loved that show.

383
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000
Oh, yeah.

384
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,000
And I have not watched an episode yet this season.

385
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000
I was excited that it was coming out.

386
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:34,000
I was counting down and then I haven't sat down to watch any of it yet.

387
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000
So that's in my cue.

388
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,000
That's in my viewing to be viewed.

389
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000
Should I get a 48 hour window at some point in time?

390
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,000
A couple of documentaries too.

391
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:49,000
Like there's one documentary stupid as this sounds and I'm not embarrassed remotely for this Mr. Chad.

392
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000
But I'm gonna be embarrassed for you.

393
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,000
Please, I'm a big 80s hair band kind of guy, right?

394
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:59,000
There was a documentary that came out a couple of years ago from a Canadian band called Triumph.

395
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,000
They had a song called "Fight the Good Fight" every moment.

396
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,000
I played on classic rock stations all the time.

397
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:09,000
Well, it was released in Canada and eventually like a year later made its way to the states on streaming.

398
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,000
I have yet to see it.

399
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:16,000
That's a video that I would love to watch about how the band that came together was one of the biggest Canadian bands,

400
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:22,000
rock bands of all times, how they broke apart and things fell apart for the band, what they're doing these days.

401
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,000
Like that's something that I'd like to sit down and watch.

402
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,000
Know my wife could give a shit about that.

403
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,000
She does not care at all.

404
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,000
She laughs at me for listening to Triumph in the first place.

405
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:39,000
So unless it were about Triumph, the insult comic dog, any Triumph documentary in my house is not getting aired by anybody but me.

406
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:44,000
Yeah, no, but you're such a rock and roll guy.

407
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,000
Right.

408
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,000
Your love of music?

409
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Yeah.

410
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,000
I mean, you know, your other podcast, "Mount Rockmore."

411
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,000
Yes.

412
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000
I'm so in awe of that.

413
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,000
Like that you put that together and go to these...

414
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,000
Quick note.

415
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,000
I've been for coming out.

416
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,000
Nice.

417
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:14,000
I've already got an all-plan and ready to roll and I'll say this, we're going to open the season, opening season four with a pretty loud episode of "Mount Rockmore."

418
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,000
All right.

419
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000
Yeah.

420
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000
But that's right up your alley.

421
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000
Yeah.

422
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,000
I mean, I probably would watch that with, you know, a couple more cocktails in me like...

423
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,000
Sure.

424
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:27,000
I remember then.

425
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000
Oh my God.

426
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000
I'm going to be so into it.

427
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:37,000
I sat down and watched the stupid three or four-part documentary, the Bon Jovi documentary.

428
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,000
Yeah.

429
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,000
Watch that and loved it, didn't have a family member nearby.

430
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:48,000
Couldn't even like, if I had broken, fallen and broken my collarbone, nobody would have come to rescue me.

431
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:51,000
They were so far away from me at that point.

432
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:58,000
By decision, they were all downstairs watching whatever they were watching, but I was watching the Bon Jovi documentary and absolutely loving every second of it.

433
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,000
Couldn't find a family member around it.

434
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,000
If I had a heart attack, forget it.

435
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,000
Yeah.

436
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,000
I think that's how you get your 48 hours.

437
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,000
That's how you answer everyone.

438
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:10,000
As you find the thing that repulses your family and do that for 48 hours.

439
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,000
So I'll just suggest...

440
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,000
I'll just make suggestions.

441
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,000
Suggestions right now.

442
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,000
You can make the suggestions at realguyradio.com.

443
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:20,000
Suggest a rock documentary for me that I might want.

444
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:25,000
I started to watch, there was one that Eminem had put together about the history of...

445
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000
It was like Napster or something.

446
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,000
I can't remember.

447
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,000
I had something to do with Napster in the streaming videos and downloading that I wanted to watch.

448
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:36,000
It just happened to be a night where I was really tired, so I watched 15 minutes and fell asleep and then woke up in the episode and was over.

449
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:42,000
So I want to make my way back to it because I fuck that up, but that's definitely something...

450
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:48,000
So if there's a suggestion for any specific 80s hair metal kind of shit, let me know about it that way.

451
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,000
I know I can get rid of my family members for a period of time by...

452
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,000
I'm pretty sure that I saw Rush...

453
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,000
Okay, all right.

454
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,000
Not hair band.

455
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,000
Right, but it fits into that.

456
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,000
It fits into that.

457
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:02,000
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I saw Rush documentary and that was on my list.

458
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000
That's probably still on my list actually.

459
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,000
Yeah, because that was one band for me in the 80s.

460
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,000
I was like, "Oh, Rush."

461
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,000
Absolutely.

462
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,000
There was a great documentary.

463
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,000
There was a series...

464
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,000
Maybe it wasn't.

465
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,000
Maybe it'd been one movie...

466
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000
About the Beastie Boys.

467
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,000
That was fantastic.

468
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,000
Oh, yes.

469
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,000
I watched as well.

470
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,000
So, fantastic.

471
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,000
Yeah.

472
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:25,000
So anyway, any suggestions for that kind of stuff, please hit us up at RealGuyRadio.com.

473
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:32,000
And then I want to bring up just one quick thing that made me sort of proud to be a dad.

474
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:37,000
And I feel like, you know, we're about ready to dig into some people who shouldn't be parents.

475
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:40,000
They should have their parent card stripped away from them.

476
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,000
Plus, we're going to talk about Christmas movie parents.

477
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,000
We talked about TV dads last week, but this week we're going to talk about...

478
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:52,000
We're going to talk about movies, Christmas movies specifically, and the best and worst parents in those Christmas movies.

479
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
But this was a...

480
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,000
I think we need to get a little proud moments in there.

481
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,000
So this happened to me.

482
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:04,000
This is me being proud not just of my daughter or being a proud dad, but my whole family.

483
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,000
We were...

484
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,000
We went and do a little last minute Christmas shopping at a bookstore.

485
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,000
It's kind of like a Barnes and Noble type of situation.

486
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,000
Big warehouse bookstore kind of place, right?

487
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,000
Lots of Rose books.

488
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:21,000
And we're looking at gifts for my 10 year old daughter in the back where the kid section is.

489
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,000
My wife and I are back there.

490
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:31,000
My older daughter, 17, is watching the 10 year old off to the side, distracting her so that she's not back where we are looking at gifts for the 10 year old.

491
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:40,000
And we're like half the warehouse distance from the back to where the halfway point is where my daughters are.

492
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:45,000
And I hear a noise that sounds like somebody knocks stuff over.

493
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:50,000
I kind of catch up the corner of my eye and I see like pencils flying off the top shelf on this one rack.

494
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:55,000
I just spy on like a rainbow of pencils falling down.

495
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,000
And then I realize...

496
00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:00,000
I realize shit those are my kids. They're right there.

497
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,000
I'm like, "Oh, come on."

498
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,000
My kids messing up the store already.

499
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:11,000
And then this is how I knew something was up my oldest daughter starts walking away the quickest.

500
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:15,000
And she's walking away from where we are towards the front of the store.

501
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,000
And I'm like, "Wait a minute, that's not like her to do that.

502
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:23,000
Like if my younger daughter or her, if either one had knocked this stuff over, she'd be the first one there to pick it up.

503
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:29,000
Like, "Oh my God, you know, cleaning it up an anxiety that she made this noise and getting it all pulled together and put back on the shelf."

504
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,000
But she starts taking off and I'm like, "Where is she going?"

505
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:38,000
And my wife's looking up and we're looking over to see what's happening. And then I hear my daughter start to say,

506
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,000
"Someone's passed out called 911."

507
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,000
Wow!

508
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:46,000
And she's running towards the counter because the counter is up at the front of the store.

509
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:53,000
She's running towards the counter to tell the people that work at the place that someone had passed out.

510
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:57,000
My wife and I hear the passed out, we go running up towards where they were.

511
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:01,000
And there's a woman on the ground having a seizure.

512
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:07,000
And she's shaking her hands or locked up her eyes or rolled back.

513
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:13,000
You can see right at that point that she's hit her head and there's blood that's starting to come out the back of her head.

514
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,000
Oh, man.

515
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:22,000
So my wife immediately gets down on her hands and knees and she's like, "It's okay, it's okay she's trying to soothe the girl who, again, is in mid-seasure."

516
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,000
So she's not responsive to anything.

517
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:30,000
And immediately my wife starts yelling for somebody to call 911.

518
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000
At this point, I look up, there's six people around us.

519
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,000
They all have their phones out there all trying to call 911.

520
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Plus my daughter has gotten up to the counter and got them to call 911.

521
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:44,000
My daughter is now coming back and she's been studying to, she wants to be a doctor.

522
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,000
Is what she wants to be.

523
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,000
So she's been studying medicine.

524
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,000
She's been shadowing at the urgent care place, all that kind of stuff.

525
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:55,000
And she's telling my wife, "Get her on her side because if she gets sick, that's what chokes people when they have seizures."

526
00:24:55,000 --> 00:25:00,000
Is they'll choke on their own vomit or anything that kind of builds up the phones now coming into her mouth.

527
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,000
And so my wife gets her on her side and she's just kind of stroking her head and telling her it's okay.

528
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,000
It's all right.

529
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,000
Keeping her calm.

530
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Again, she's not responsive.

531
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:15,000
Another guy has come over and has like a role paper towel and has it under her head where the bleeding was happening.

532
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:24,000
I, her phone, which is the weirdest thing, it made me, my initial thought was, well, now's not the time to bring this up to this woman who's having a seizure.

533
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:29,000
She should really have more security on her phone because I can just open the thing up.

534
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,000
And I'm opening it.

535
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,000
I'm starting, I'm starting.

536
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:40,000
I see that she's just texted somebody, "Okay, do I text this person to say, you know, the person that you were speaking with has having a seizure.

537
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,000
What do I do?"

538
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,000
At this point, she starts to come too.

539
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:49,000
And in the part where she's coming to, my wife's talking to her and saying, "Everything's okay. Just take it easy and relax."

540
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,000
She's like, "Why? Why would I relax?"

541
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:55,000
She's like, "You had a seizure. You fell down. You hit your head. Just take it easy and relax."

542
00:25:55,000 --> 00:26:02,000
And we've got 911 is on the way, emergency is on the way. And she's like, "Wait, we're trying to sit up and you know we're not gonna let her do that."

543
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,000
Especially if she happens to be dizzy. So we're just like, "Lay back."

544
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:09,000
And we've got the paper towel under her head where the, and we're just like, "Take it easy. Relax there."

545
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:14,000
My wife is holding her hand. We were trying to get the jacket off because she was hot. She wanted to get the jacket off.

546
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:22,000
But none of us wanted to lift her up for fear of her being even more hurt. So we're trying to kind of keep things cool for her.

547
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:29,000
And I ask her, I'm scrolling through her phone, I just typed in mother. And the contact comes up for mother.

548
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,000
And I say, "As your mom's name." And it was like, "Sharing." And I think it's what comes.

549
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000
She goes, "Yeah." And I go, "Okay. I'm gonna give her a quick call." So I'm like, "Why?"

550
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:40,000
Well, there was an accident. And you've been hurt. So I call her mom. Her mom's like, "I'll be right down there."

551
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:45,000
I said, "Is this something that's happened or before?" She, "They're gonna ask me when the EMT's get here."

552
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:49,000
Has she had these types of seizures before? She says, "No, she's never had them before."

553
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:55,000
I said, "Okay, cool. Oh, shit." I'll hand this off to the EMT when they get here. And we'll see in a couple of minutes.

554
00:26:55,000 --> 00:27:01,000
And then the EMT gets there. They get the phone. He calls her. The mom talks to her. They have all things.

555
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,000
But anyways, the point is, my family rushed right to that.

556
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Now during that time, my 17-year-old daughter, while she was coming, the woman was coming too, my 17-year-old daughter took my 10-year-old who was traumatized by the whole thing happening because she saw it from...

557
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:20,000
The woman just like locking up and falling backwards and fainting and hitting her head.

558
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:25,000
My 17-year-old is trying to keep my 10-year-old calm and explain what's going on and talk to her a little bit about it.

559
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:31,000
My 10-year-old is crying over the whole thing. My wife is sitting there right next to this woman and soothing her and calming her.

560
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:35,000
I'm on the phone with her mom trying to get her to come down and EMT's her on their way in.

561
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:45,000
And all I kept thinking to myself was, "Holy shit, my family was right in this." Like more so than the people who work there, a number of other people who are standing around just kind of an "oh, not sure what to do."

562
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,000
And I've been there. I know exactly what that feeling is like.

563
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:56,000
And we were all right there in it. The people from the bookstore took our number down in cases. In case the doctors needed to get a hold of them.

564
00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:01,000
So we had all of us, if we went back the next day, we actually had this pile of stuff we were going to get for the 10-year-old.

565
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:05,000
I'm like, "Can you hold on to this until tomorrow?" I think now is not the time to purchase this.

566
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:11,000
So I left that there. We went back the next day and the manager there was like, "Oh my God, thank you guys so much for doing what you did last night."

567
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:19,000
And they called, the hospital called, wanted to know how long the seizure went on for.

568
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:26,000
And that supposedly this girl was going to be okay, that everything was good. We were really worried that night, especially when we got home, our adrenaline was still going.

569
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,000
"Oh, yeah, fuck."

570
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:34,000
But anyways, I was so proud of my family. I had to tell them. My wife, you were right there, honey.

571
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:41,000
You were right there, like a great mom taking care of a kid. Treating her the way you'd want your daughter to be treated in that kind of situation.

572
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:51,000
And here's my 17-year-old daughter directing us from across the store while trying to take care of her sister about how to medically treat this thing, the way the safest.

573
00:28:51,000 --> 00:29:01,000
It was a whole weird scenario. Never gone through anything like this in my life, but I was so proud of my family for what went down there and how we handled it.

574
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:13,000
And then I got in that case where, you know, it's super easy to not be somebody in charge and kind of stand back and, well, what can I do or ask questions? And we were all, boom, right there in on it, taking care.

575
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:21,000
I just had to tell them all how proud I was of them during that kind of an instance. And how I think more of us need to do that.

576
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:34,000
And then you don't want to have too many people getting involved. They were all standing around kind of watching and trying to call. And, you know, is this okay? Can I help with anything? Is there anything I can do? And then just kind of being there for support in case of anything else going on.

577
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:41,000
It's super easy to not do anything. And my family was right on it. They jumped right on it and got right there. And I thought that was amazing.

578
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:51,000
Yeah, you guys were in the moment, right? Like when the woman had the seizure, your kids were in that aisle next to her, right?

579
00:29:51,000 --> 00:30:00,000
They were right there. Yeah, they were right there. First, like they were first Charlie saw the whole thing. She's like, her eyes just closed and she fell flat back like a board.

580
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:07,000
She was in seizure when she went. So it wasn't like she hit her head and then seizure. She went back and was in seizure when she fell.

581
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:17,000
Her instincts to like, okay, let's get 911 going. Come back, help give advice on medical. Like you guys, because it was your kids were there. You all were there first.

582
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:28,000
Yeah. So yeah, you're, you're, you rushed to the incident. And yeah, we need more people like that. I'm part of your family. That's amazing. I know your family.

583
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:34,000
Yeah, that doesn't surprise me at all. Yeah, that they would do that. They would be there in that situation.

584
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:43,000
But like, being able to step away and see it happen was like, I was fucking impressed. I'm like, wow, that's amazing.

585
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:53,000
Like it's super easy to not be in that place or just let somebody else, you know, let the manager of the store step in or wait until the EMT's got there.

586
00:30:53,000 --> 00:31:04,000
And it kind of just stands around and my wife was right down there holding hands, brushing hair telling her was okay. Like it was it was in my daughter's yelling from across the store.

587
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:13,000
It was crazy, dude. But I was, I left there feeling so proud of my family and how honored I was to see them act that way.

588
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:17,000
That's a great like Christmas time story. Yeah.

589
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:26,000
Like, you know, what the seasons about, right, is giving and being there for other people and that kind of stuff and the, the job like have that happen right there in front of you.

590
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:37,000
And you were a part of that. That's amazing. And it really, it does change your focus because you leave that store like not about what kind of gifts you bought and did you get a gift receipt but more like, God, I hope this woman's going to be okay.

591
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:45,000
Yeah, what did I do for another human being and what, and did they, you know, I'm glad that I made a difference in their life.

592
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:51,000
And it for what it's worth like her mom said she's never had that happen before. That's crazy. I mean, like that's so scary.

593
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:59,000
How, how old was she? I would say my guess is that she was probably in her early 20s. Like I would have said college age.

594
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:09,000
She, she had a shirt on for the place that she worked at and it seemed like she seemed like she was fairly, I had seen her walking around the store when we first came in.

595
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:17,000
She was already there and she was walking around doing her shopping and stuff. So I had seen her there, but you know, there was nothing.

596
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:22,000
It was just a person as you're walking in. But I would have said maybe early 20s tops.

597
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:33,000
Yeah. And it was, it was unbelievable and to think, you know, to have the mom say that that, you know, when I let the E&T knows that happened, the guys like, dude, you got moms numb run the phone.

598
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Yeah, there wasn't a whole lot of security on the phone. It was already open when I picked it up. So I just scroll. He's like, did you know her? I'm like, no, I just typed in mom and then I typed in mother.

599
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:48,000
You probably, I mean, you probably also got lucky in that like she had been texting and so whatever security she may have.

600
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,000
Exactly. It was already, you know, it's already.

601
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:54,000
Although I will say this. And again, this is just goes to the security aspect. This is my OCD kicking in.

602
00:32:54,000 --> 00:33:03,000
I had at one point in time after I had given the mother's number to the E&T who then called on his phone. I'm like, he's like, he thought that that was my phone that I had had.

603
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:09,000
I'm like, no, this is her phone. Here I'm giving it to you to take with you and give it to her. I was like, oh, I thought you knew her and had the nope, nope, no idea.

604
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,000
I was just searching for them in their some point for contact.

605
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:23,000
Anyways, I said I had I had pre I'd he was calling and talking to mom. It had gone into sleep mode. And then I just pushed it and it opened right up. There was no.

606
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,000
I was like, alright.

607
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,000
There was again, I just my stupid.

608
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:39,000
Well, these these damn ads, you know, Jen, right? Gen Z Gen. Why? Whatever kids. Yeah, they don't believe in security. Right. They just yeah. If it somehow I mean they put their lives on the internet.

609
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:49,000
It's like, you know, all of them have a only fans page. Right. They all have, you know, tiktok and I mean, shit, it's like their entire life is broadcast.

610
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:55,000
Right. I mean, you never know when you're going to have to quickly film yourself at a bookstore. Right. So it's like the Truman show.

611
00:33:55,000 --> 00:34:01,000
Yeah. I mean, look, if she had if she had filmed herself while she was having the seizure, I'm just saying it might have gotten a lot of hits. It may have been.

612
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:17,000
Yeah. It's like, for sure. So I'm glad I'm glad she was okay. And you guys, I mean, that's that's an amazing story. I like I love I love hearing about, you know, family's friends, kids, whatever doing stuff like that and come to the rescue for somebody else.

613
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:24,000
I just feel like there's, you know, there's so many shit stories out there about it. And we're going to get to a bunch of them coming up.

614
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:35,000
Don't worry, folks. It's not all kind of kind of been founded on that. But I just thought it was it was it was it was something to be proud of and I wanted to share that I was proud of it. So I appreciate you.

615
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:45,000
That's all I'm used that is next year's Christmas premise for their movie. We're going to get we're going to get we're I think we're going to try to get Christy Nareechi in on that one. I don't know.

616
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:58,000
Maybe is I mean, yeah, the woman having the seizure. I don't know. But either way, it was it was impressive. And it had us really rethinking everything is we left there like, you know, fuck the Christmas gifts. Like you might not have a life.

617
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:08,000
You there could she could have hit her head and that had been it. It very easily. Yeah. If she had not been turned to her side, what could have happened to her? So all of that really kind of well, she's big.

618
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:18,000
I mean, she's driving her car. She has exactly. Yeah, exactly. So like think about that kind of dangerous level or whatever it was that she was at work earlier before she got there.

619
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:27,000
Something could have happened. So any of those things were definitely the conversations that we had afterwards and how lucky we are to be in the place that we are.

620
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:36,000
And it was just it was it let you reset for just a second. What's going on in your life at a time when you're like, oh, gotta go do more Christmas shopping.

621
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:47,000
And well, you know, the credit card that it was the craziest thing because about half an hour before that we we sat down to have dinner at a place like we got in the girls out of school and we were sitting down to have a quick dinner.

622
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:54,000
And there was a guy who's talking to another dude that worked there and the guy who worked there said, hey, how are you doing, man? He goes, great.

623
00:35:54,000 --> 00:36:00,000
He goes, how's your Christmas going? And he goes, well, I'm broke. So I guess we're ready to have it. And I thought.

624
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:15,000
I was like, yeah, yeah, I that's means time for America right now. Welcome to America. But at the same time, how things change over the next 60 minutes when I'm like not even remotely concerned about being broken.

625
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:23,000
Christmas starting more worried about this person's health. And if they were going to be OK for Christmas. So it's weird how it puts you in your place in those types of things.

626
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,000
So thank you for letting me share on that front. All right.

627
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:35,000
Oh, no, awesome. We're going to take a little bit of a break. We come back from the break. Who are the best and worst Christmas parents?

628
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:45,000
Now Christmas, we're going to keep it extensive to exclusive to Christmas movie parents, not going to be, you know, television stuff or episodes during.

629
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:52,000
We're just talking Christmas movie parents. We'll go through like, because I hallmark movies though, do they counter?

630
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:59,000
I'll be honest, I haven't really watched what I kind of feel like I've I've I know what it's going to be yet I have one you've seen them all.

631
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:07,000
I kind of feel like, yeah, I feel like I'm just even knowing that Melissa Joan Hartson and I got a feel for the way this is going to go. I just feel like that's pretty clear.

632
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:17,000
So with that said, we'll have the best and the worst who we think the best and the worst parents offer Christmas movies when we return here at the dad's home podcast.

633
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:23,000
This is this is a clearly clearly not Metro sexual moment moment in history.

634
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:33,000
Stephen Hawking clearly not Metro moments wants to salute a man who didn't waste his days on collecting DVD box sets of project runway and trading spaces

635
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:42,000
or making sure his five o'clock shadow was perfectly clothed. No, this real man has devoted his life to the study of cosmology and quantum gravity.

636
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:52,000
That's right, this man has a profession that most of us can't pronounce let alone understand the man is Stephen Hawking and despite hardly being able to move his brain could kick your ass.

637
00:37:52,000 --> 00:38:03,000
He doesn't listen to John Mara, James Blint. While sad excuses for men are doing that Steve is busy doing a little thing called providing theorems regarding singularities in the framework of general relativity.

638
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:07,000
He even has a type of radiation named after him. That's badass.

639
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:17,000
The only thing that carries my name is my underwear. Thank you, Mr. Hawking for being a real man and for making advancements and cosmology or whatever it is.

640
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:23,000
This has been Lee Camp for more funny crap. Check out LeeCamp.net and sharkbaby.com.

641
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:31,000
It's the onion radio news. A freak accident paralyzes a man from the way stop. This is Doyle Redland reporting.

642
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:49,000
A bizarre spinal injury sustained in a car accident outside Mesa, Arizona on Sunday has left local resident Roberto Montenegro paralyzed from the way stop. Dr. William Maxson, head of surgery at Mesa General Hospital, described Montenegro's condition this morning.

643
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:58,000
Sadly he can no longer speak, eat, dial a phone, open doors or look sideways. The one bit of good news however is that Mr. Montenegro is back on his feet.

644
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:08,000
The hospital officials added though Montenegro's condition remains guarded at present he should be able to resume his career as a professional soccer player as early as next week.

645
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:13,000
Doyle Redland for the onion radio news online at the onion.com.

646
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:35,000
[Music]

647
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:45,000
There are some definitive bad parents out there and some definitive great parents I would say.

648
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:57,000
You may believe that one may have the title for both good and bad, the best and worst parent of Christmas movies.

649
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:07,000
It is possible. So the same jackass that you go I would never want a parent like that at the end of it all you're like, you know, you didn't turn out to be so bad.

650
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000
Yeah, he's right. That's the way that parent would be.

651
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:21,000
Alright, so let's start. I'm going to their first of all. I did this when we talked about the TV dads the other day like if it's in black and white.

652
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:50,000
I want to leave it's a wonderful life for the most part off of our spectrum of great dads and parents in movies mainly also I'll say it's because I'm not sure that I think our dude from it's a wonderful life is a great parent but more importantly I'm keeping the black and white footage out of this when everything was supposed to be the happy jolly go lucky sun shines and rainbows.

653
00:40:50,000 --> 00:41:03,000
Kind of a situation I'm looking for real life I'm talking about what we can actually feel like we relate to when it comes to parents and movies so that's what I'm shooting to I'm more I'm more bad Santa.

654
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:10,000
Then I am it's a wonderful life is all I'm trying to say or that's the direction I'm going when I'm making my selection.

655
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:15,000
The fair okay, but I'll scratch all those all the black and white soft my list.

656
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:25,000
I'm just saying I think it's probably a wise idea like it's okay. I mean like you know it's it's a minority of people who watch those anyways.

657
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:35,000
If you want to fight about Bing Crosby being a great parent in in white Christmas fine you can I'll give you that one you can take that right now congratulations you've won there.

658
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:41,000
I just think it's a bad category to be in to choose from so we've got to find some other ones that we can be more relatable with.

659
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:49,000
All right so when you're thinking of either best or worst what what's the first parent that comes to your mind.

660
00:41:49,000 --> 00:42:00,000
Well I mean so you mentioned it at the top of this yeah you know best and worst I'll start with Clark Griswalt.

661
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:16,000
Yeah you know he's just a bumbling idiot and and does stupid shit and you still though God I love the guy.

662
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:26,000
Sure I mean he really he has some redeeming qualities and so he kind of fits both is both quality both categories.

663
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:34,000
Is he is a competitor of both sure is he a dumbass absolutely did he ruin his next door neighbors home while trying to have a good Christmas.

664
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:45,000
Yes he did why yes he did sure has had to destroy his own ceiling at his home by by trying to remain very overly enthusiastic for the holidays.

665
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:50,000
Well yes he did yes he did but again he was trying to do it for his family and not just his immediate family.

666
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:58,000
He was trying to do with extended family everybody comes over we have this great big jolly happy family get together for the holidays.

667
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:04,000
Let's just it was all about the family was he was trying to get a pool for the family not just him.

668
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:05,000
That's right.

669
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:16,000
It wasn't like he was getting himself a vacation or a spa day or a new set of golf clubs or something right he was trying to get a pool for the family so they could have more of these big family functions during the summer.

670
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:26,000
Yes there were hot super models that came out of the dream that he had of the pool I get that I get that and yes he was flirtatious with the hot you know.

671
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:31,000
The jewelry model at the at the other day.

672
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:39,000
Yeah I keep thinking lingerie but there was a different parts of the sorry but the point is he was the intent that he had.

673
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,000
He was a yeah yeah he's just kind of clumsied yeah.

674
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:54,000
Is it good intentions bad execution and ultimately did he want to do he want to teach his kids how to be good people yeah and he wanted to teach them how to not get bully to the very beginning when they're going out Christmas tree hunting.

675
00:43:54,000 --> 00:44:08,000
And you got the guys that are following too closely and eventually looks like there's going to maybe be a fight or some kind he's like don't don't let yourself get bullied by assholes like this in the big red neck truck right so he's trying to teach his kids to stand up for themselves.

676
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,000
That's right.

677
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:27,000
Yeah to stretch but he's he's I'm going to give him credit for that I'm going to give him credit for no he yeah yeah sorry it's not exactly a lesson that you really should teach or need to teach or you might want to teach the avoidance of something like that.

678
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:37,000
Yeah if you can but nonetheless it was I thought the important lessons were learned by the kids for for seeing their dad of that kind of action now.

679
00:44:37,000 --> 00:45:02,000
Yep I will so we started out on a very good note there because he could be the best and the worst of the same time again the yeah he's not going out of his way to be a dick like some of the other ones were going to have I'll explain in just a minute but yeah we've got a few of those but I think it's also important to note other facts about Christmas vacation because I've got some here in a real quick today you learn today.

680
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:11,000
Today today today today today today today today today today today today.

681
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,000
First of all Chad what are you drinking for the cocktail tonight just.

682
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:18,000
Oh yes so this is a mezz-cow poloma.

683
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:47,000
It is it's it's a little bit like we we play a game in our house called refrigerator survivor so yeah there's a couple of nights a week right where we don't know exactly what we're doing for dinner and we're like let's do something gourmet and play refrigerator survivor so say whatever we have the refrigerator will put together you know chef up a meal I think it would make a great reality series you know like chef show up to your house whatever shit you have in your refrigerator they have to do it.

684
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:52,000
Yeah it's like chopped it's like chopped but of the stuff in your kitchen.

685
00:45:52,000 --> 00:46:03,000
That's right and but Randall Kitchens like show up and like knock on your door like hey we're a film crew we're going to come in and film these guys cooking in your kitchen with your shit in your food.

686
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:10,000
Sure sure I think that would be great I'd watch that now have you seen the apps that they have that you're supposed to either take a picture of what's in your fridge.

687
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:15,000
You can yeah nope it's okay yeah but I mean I let's be honest reality.

688
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,000
It's reality.

689
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,000
It's reality.

690
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:18,000
It's gonna be a little bit of it.

691
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:22,000
So this is a little bit of like hey look we have some great fruits.

692
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,000
Yeah.

693
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:29,000
We happen to have a bottle of mezcal let's put those two things together and make you know mezcal.

694
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:36,000
I saw recipe I wanted to try out I didn't get a chance to but I maybe I'll try it out for the new year but there was a cranberry margarita.

695
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,000
Oh yeah the same the same.

696
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,000
I see in that recipe.

697
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:55,000
So I just went straight for the um not that we need the sponsors here but I went fireball and coke based upon the picture that Chad showed me of how the elves on the shelves end up making fireball with some.

698
00:46:55,000 --> 00:47:03,000
Yeah if you haven't seen that picture folks go look it up elf on the shelf fireball and you'll know then what he is actually drinking right now.

699
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:07,000
It's some cohorts my partner and cry it's got a little wing to it.

700
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:27,000
Um I said here's some some today you learned about the Christmas vacation today you learned Christopher Columbus who was the he was originally set to direct national ampune's Christmas vacation but he dropped out after difficult meetings with Chevy Chase the star Christmas vacation instead.

701
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,000
What did he do?

702
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:38,000
Chris Columbus decided he was going to shift over and make this movie called home alone which became the highest grossing Christmas film of all time.

703
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:47,000
Alright that also said today you aren't the Griswolds home in national ampune's Christmas vacation is the same home from American beauty.

704
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:51,000
That I did not know same exact.

705
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:58,000
This one makes me feel a little on the old side so these are alerts.

706
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:08,000
Actor William Hickey who played Uncle Lewis in Christmas vacation you remember him you had that hair piece remember things caught on fire behind him his hair piece was cut.

707
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:15,000
He died that guy he died in 1997 at age 69 which means Chad if you're doing your math.

708
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:22,000
Shit did he really he was 62 when he starred in Christmas vacation.

709
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:28,000
Oh he looked like a hundred and two in the movie.

710
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:33,000
He was my God 62 years old that's like.

711
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:36,000
That's less than 10 years away from me.

712
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:44,000
Dude that that I'm got now I have to just go crawl into my bed and set my thumb I if you have it.

713
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:50,000
Holy crap if you have yet this season you haven't watched there's only two days so Christmas but if you haven't watched Christmas vacation or if you're going to rewatch it.

714
00:48:50,000 --> 00:49:04,000
I just realized he's 62 when he made that movie and looks 82 also today you are during the scene in Christmas vacation where Clark was demolishing Santa's lead because trying to plug in the lights wasn't working right he gets pissed off.

715
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:09,000
He's kicking and hitting and he punches Santa's plastic sled right there in the front lawn.

716
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:25,000
Chevy Chase actually broke his pinky during the filming of that scene punching the plastic Santa kept kicking everything on the lawn because he was in pain so much pain from actually breaking his pinky on the set.

717
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:32,000
And they just rolled camera just rolled camera kept going and that's why he kicked everything and knocked everything over during that scene.

718
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,000
Oh my God.

719
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,000
And finally where do you dig this stuff?

720
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:43,000
That's amazing. Finally and it's a day you learned from Christmas vacation the Meisterbrow beer the cousin Eddie when he comes out.

721
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:44,000
Yes.

722
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:59,000
The motor home and he's surprising everybody there when they finally get the lights on he's drinking Meisterbrow that beer has since been reformulated into today's Miller light.

723
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:09,000
Meisterbrow is now Miller light and there you unbelievable there is a Christmas vacation today you look today today today.

724
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:26,000
62 yeah for those of you watching at home there's a tactical difficulty my my lighting apparently a few is or something so I just thought you got like you had the tanning light came on I don't know what happened.

725
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:34,000
Yeah I was done tanning the time off on your tanning bed it was time to you know what are you gonna do at that point you gotta do something so.

726
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:47,000
All right so there you go there's so you know I will say this I think 62 what I'm 62 again I'll be I'll be watching that probably in the next 24 hours so it hits me to think he's 62 with that hair piece and looks 102.

727
00:50:47,000 --> 00:51:00,000
He's he was a gem of an actor really he was a good stuff man and you know the one who played his wife the grandmother in the movie was originally the voice of Betty Boop.

728
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:14,000
The car to when they did the car to the animated movie for Betty Boop she was the voice of Betty Boop she had a very distinct voice in the movie and had a very distinct voice in general and I think she was like 30 years older than you was 30 years.

729
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:25,000
Yeah Betty she was like 20 and Betty was like 20 to 30 years older or whatever and then then he was so anyways just think about that when you're watching Christmas vacation if you haven't already done so.

730
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:26,000
Yeah.

731
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:43,000
All right so we watched home alone and I've got to believe that there is not a worse set of parents in any Christmas movie than the Macalester parents they have to be the worst it's one thing to leave your kid behind because you've got so much going on and so many family members and everybody's you know your tension clear.

732
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:57,000
I look we've heard stories about people who leave their kids in the car and it's all whole they are back at a at a grocery store trader Joe's they left their kid there whatever right all those stories are out there so I get that part of it.

733
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:03,000
But to do that in two three I think there's five five movies or something like that.

734
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:13,000
You know the five five movies are the same thing you son you son that's not a that's not a them thing that's a you thing you fuck that up.

735
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:26,000
There's no way around that that's not a oh you're paying attention and by the way waiting until your halfway to Paris just referring to home alone one waiting to your halfway to Paris before you realize your kid isn't there.

736
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:39,000
What the fuck what are you how do you not make sure your kid is on a seat someplace and you even I'm sorry misfly attendant I just want to make sure that my kids are all good back there in coach while I'm flying first class because fuck them.

737
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:48,000
Let that let that let that let the unwashed back there and coach deal with my kids I'm up here I'm going to get a stake for my sake.

738
00:52:48,000 --> 00:53:00,000
Well I was that was going to be one of my traveling tips for kids yeah parents fly first class put your kids in coach no matter how old they are 18 months old in coach parents in first class right.

739
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,000
Yeah why not.

740
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:13,000
What's the problem with that everybody who's a traveler should expect that to happen frankly now that's what noise canceling headphones are for bitches come on saying that's my point exactly.

741
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:33,000
So yes with that I think we have to be clear that that is the steadfast rule I'm just concerned you didn't pay attention to your kids getting on the plane as you're leaving to go to a foreign country in a different time zone before you realize that your kids not with you so.

742
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:51,000
You are you are either a terrible parent or incredibly drunk one of the two and even if you are incredibly drunk I'm going to be concerned with terrible parents because it's part two the you take off to go to Miami and that little fuckers nowhere to be seen.

743
00:53:51,000 --> 00:54:02,000
When you guys are boarding a plane because you're all too busy running to get there well how bad of a parent do you have to be your planes not leaving early that doesn't happen when you're flying folks your planes going to leave at on time or late.

744
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:20,000
At best maybe even delayed for a little while rushing to get to the airport to be there right as the plane is going doesn't happen that's not happening so you can't take the time to go let me just check on everybody is there making it away through until you're halfway to Miami five.

745
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,000
They didn't even wait Jake.

746
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:24,000
Here's the here's the.

747
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:30,000
They wait till they get to the luggage having landed in Miami Chad.

748
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:40,000
Going through here's Kevin's bag can somebody hand this to Kevin they go down the line take Kevin Kevin 18 fucking people they get out of the very end Kevin no Kevin but

749
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:48,000
makes its way back up no Kevin Kevin's not here Kevin's not here comes back to the mom of Kevin's on here where is he Kevin and there's the scene right and he's

750
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:59,000
fucking in New York staying with Donald Trump at his hotel so what here's my question to how is it the child protective services are not involved thank you at this point.

751
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:09,000
You like take two of you leaving your kid behind they call the police station and they do that whole bounce back and forth thing between you know whether the cops should go out there not.

752
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:21,000
Police are like we're going to look for your kid not like huh maybe we should be looking to you because you are fucking left your kid by the time the second movie is made shouldn't they have a parole officer checking in or something

753
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:35,000
with them to make sure they're getting one thing yeah so through this all I got a belief there's there I don't care whatever they've done like I know they're taking their family on this massive vacation to Miami or to Paris or

754
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:49,000
wherever the fuck they're going they they did they're horrible parents you can't not let your kid on and then figure out halfway through the flights that your kid isn't there that's not the time that's bad parenting a hundred percent

755
00:55:49,000 --> 00:56:01,000
and to me there's no way that they can be knocked off of the list for being a worse parent than the Macalestres no that they're they have to be at the top they really do now I will say this and I say this probably

756
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:12,000
Mr. I mean maybe the cranks give them a run for their money I say I call users I get that and on the list of of you know the internet searching that I did as far as worse

757
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:29,000
yeah they were up there the cranks were definitely up there I mean they're selfish selfish people taking a holiday vacation to a nice local where it's warm yeah you know without their family I mean yeah there was no body everybody a ticket

758
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:39,000
right there was no let's have everybody around for a good vacation Christmas vacation I mean but I'll give the cranks credit they did not leave a kid behind

759
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:48,000
they just didn't go so they didn't have a kid who was left to fend for himself while robbers were breaking into the neighborhood you have a kid that we had to slap

760
00:56:48,000 --> 00:57:00,000
the tar on the stairs and the nails coming like what you know who have you raised what kind of animal did you have to raise in this case

761
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:10,000
yeah I'll be honest I and I mean this whole heartedly and I say this with the largest amount of praise in my chest I have never seen Christmas with the cranks

762
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:28,000
I've got a watch did it's it's it's worth a watch it's worth a watch all right I don't believe you know I'm not a huge not a huge Tim Allen fan right but but Jamie Lee Curtis is in it love her love Jamie and Dan Dan accurate is the you know

763
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:38,000
a smarty neighbor and would she plays to perfection interesting they brought that kind of character back from trading trading places trading trading places

764
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:46,000
it's he's yeah he's not quite Jamie Lee Curtis not quite that not the you know the two of them together yeah it's interesting yeah

765
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:56,000
anyway so I've not seen it I don't know for sure and I'm taking your word on this one that they should definitely be in consideration as I understand the plot to the movie their daughter is like their empty nesters or something

766
00:57:56,000 --> 00:58:17,000
and then that's right yeah daughter's like daughters like not coming home and they're like sweet right here in the dark like I just kidding I'm gonna be there I'm gonna bring in someone right yeah so they they were they they allowed themselves to be manipulated clearly but I also weren't in a place in an empty nest or kind of what you try to make the best of that situation you look

767
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:35,000
Clark glitz griswald was trying to buy a pool for his family and having everybody around that's the exact opposite of what these people were doing that's right that's right yeah I'm not gonna spend the money on my family I'm gonna spend it on myself but they even they like they once they found out that their daughter was gonna be coming back didn't they have to

768
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:41,000
didn't they might correct this he not steal a crit try to steal a Christmas tree from somebody was dying of cancer

769
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:49,280
yeah so yeah there's some there's some honor handed shit in there for sure but so it still hasn't hit the lot well I still say I

770
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:59,000
between them and the Macalisters I still say the Macalisters are the worst parent no and I'm not disagreeing with you on that whatsoever I but the

771
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:09,860
because leaving your kid behind at any point in time you know like you know like you really for like seven times however many

772
00:59:09,860 --> 00:59:19,700
four or five times four or five times but yeah you know like you leave your kid in the back seat right your car now reminds you to look in

773
00:59:19,700 --> 00:59:27,660
the back seat for your kid so like yeah you have to suck pretty bad to miss those signs really bad very quite bad I think is the

774
00:59:27,660 --> 00:59:34,220
way that that goes all right when we come right back here I'm gonna give us some videos mr. Chad on some of the other

775
00:59:34,220 --> 00:59:44,020
worst parents maybe better or were I guess worse than the Macalisters close to worse and not that they all have to

776
00:59:44,020 --> 00:59:48,020
do with Christmas but I'm gonna say that they're definitely worse than the Macalisters coming up next you

777
00:59:48,020 --> 01:00:00,860
to the dad's own podcast oh either I'm tiger woods over the past couple of days it's been a lot of speculation about me

778
01:00:00,860 --> 01:00:10,700
lying me not lying and me lying about not lying a lot of people say hey you're lucky it's got in the world you

779
01:00:10,700 --> 01:00:17,300
married to a model got beautiful kids I guess that's enough for an average man but I'm above average

780
01:00:17,300 --> 01:00:26,860
I'm here to set the record straight I'm tiger woods and I fuck bitches there's a lot of dudes that fuck bitches I

781
01:00:26,860 --> 01:00:33,780
fuck the most and I don't go for the high type either oh no no high class here I fuck chili waitresses

782
01:00:33,780 --> 01:00:42,300
sometimes I just go to big lots pick up the biggest girl I can find get it a call a dog the end word

783
01:00:42,300 --> 01:00:51,980
until I come I want a tiny midget girl I'm gonna glue horns to her head she's gonna ram me like a bull I want the

784
01:00:51,980 --> 01:00:58,180
sloppiest grossest girl I can get and I want to make her jerk off to a dog pooping on a glass table then I

785
01:00:58,180 --> 01:01:03,660
make the kid who wrote chocolate rain watch that and if he gets off to it then I can come because that's how

786
01:01:03,660 --> 01:01:11,620
complicated I am I'm tiger woods there's a lot of things I do now I don't do I don't not win

787
01:01:11,620 --> 01:01:24,780
championships but I do fuck bitches back to the dad's own podcast but first more dad jokes 63 year old

788
01:01:24,780 --> 01:01:31,260
woman gave birth this year 63 years old and the article that I read about it the focus of the article

789
01:01:31,260 --> 01:01:42,620
wasn't the focus of the article was well last year the record for childbirth was 62 years old

790
01:01:42,620 --> 01:01:49,220
luckily science stepped up to the plate and the new record is 63 you know I am completely

791
01:01:49,220 --> 01:01:56,020
pro science anti-creationism all the way but sometimes science is fucking wrong and gives this shit

792
01:01:56,020 --> 01:02:01,940
we don't need like 63 year old women giving birth why not just come out and go hey we made cancer air

793
01:02:01,940 --> 01:02:18,700
born in contagious you're welcome we're science we're all about kutta not shudda what is the what is

794
01:02:18,700 --> 01:02:22,960
the father say to the kid when the kids old enough to go where did I come from dad oh we'll

795
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:28,720
sit yourself down and dad is going to tell you all about the miracle the birds and the bees see when

796
01:02:28,720 --> 01:02:37,800
a man loves a woman very much he heaves himself off of his hemorrhoid donut he takes three Viagra

797
01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:47,560
a beta blocker and an eyedropper full of blood thinner then he lays on top of his beloved like a

798
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:59,800
pile of laundry on top of another pile of laundry then his penis erect in defiance of God's will

799
01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:11,560
enters per vagina like a chapstick entering the Lorraine caverns

800
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:23,920
then nine months later she gives birth to a beautiful baby which I will illustrate by pushing this uncooked

801
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:40,520
cornish game hen through these gray drapes now if you have any questions about the magic of the

802
01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:50,760
birthing process well dad you're gonna need to repeat all of that because I couldn't hear you over

803
01:03:50,760 --> 01:04:02,600
the sound of my dick screaming pat and Oswald pat and Oswald getting us all kinds of

804
01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:07,400
seven boy pat so yeah that's it that's what he does all right now this is gonna be weird for a

805
01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:14,680
shed because we're trying a new way of filming the dad's home podcast on the TVC and a part of

806
01:04:14,680 --> 01:04:19,640
that is gonna involve the videos that were bringing the table here it may be right over our faces I

807
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:23,720
have no fucking idea I have no idea how this is gonna go so we're gonna be playing this all by ear

808
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:29,640
as we do this so we'll give this a shot but what I am gonna say is either way Chuck Yeager got

809
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:33,720
into an airplane that they thought was gonna just blow up it you know what's it at the sound

810
01:04:33,720 --> 01:04:38,680
bear he did it right right thank you so maybe this is where I figure this all out I don't know we'll

811
01:04:38,680 --> 01:04:43,080
see but this is where we're gonna look at some of the worst parents that are gonna be entered into

812
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:47,320
the worst parents of twenty twenty five competition that will have right here at that's home pockets

813
01:04:47,320 --> 01:04:53,480
something we do every year and in this particular case we've got some really good bad parents that

814
01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:59,000
I think are even worse than the Macau and his contenders for sure all right so that said I want

815
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:02,600
to start off with something because near and dear to your heart you live in Texas this might

816
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:07,240
be a ring yep and more true maybe you've seen other parents like this I don't know but in this

817
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:11,720
particular case you've got a dad who's like hey you know my son needs to buck up a little bit so

818
01:05:11,720 --> 01:05:17,720
I'm just gonna have climb on that steer that's why he's trying to sneak up on that steer over there

819
01:05:17,720 --> 01:05:24,920
and jump on his back I told him I gave him twenty dollars that's my seat twenty dollars jump on

820
01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:28,360
this here and as you're looking here it's just walking it to quietly jumps on this

821
01:05:31,880 --> 01:05:37,320
again you only see the watch the parent stops the video at the probably not this is most critical

822
01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:46,200
but also dangerous point in this where there he goes being thrown off of and listen to the concern

823
01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:58,520
in this dad's voice at the end he's laughing his son gets thrown I can't be I mean that kid is

824
01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:05,560
got to be maybe five years old right no not even five years little four three

825
01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:14,680
yeah dad just something to think about there I look I appreciate the desire to make your child

826
01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:22,760
a man is the case may be here but that's that's a little too much a little too over the top now

827
01:06:22,760 --> 01:06:30,440
is it as bad as a parent who take this fork and put it in the electric outlet is it is bad I told you

828
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:37,160
about how lucky ruined our computer we had the no we had an iMac that had a charging cable was

829
01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:41,880
charging charge the phones and she decided when she was a toddler well that should be plugged into a wall

830
01:06:41,880 --> 01:06:49,080
so she took it of course so I got up the next morning yeah I was getting ready to go do my work on

831
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:53,480
the computer and the won't turn on just a black screen look around behind me can't get the power

832
01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:58,600
turned on look behind the computer and I see where that cord was right at the power strip to be plugged

833
01:06:58,600 --> 01:07:07,480
in you see the blacks and go up the length of the white cord yeah she got me she tried to be helpful

834
01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:10,760
she she was trying she thought it should be something should be plugged into it not that it should

835
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:16,200
be plugged into something but something should be plugged in it not nearly as bad as when you're not

836
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:21,000
paying attention at all to your child now there's a couple of different case here this one I think

837
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:25,400
is worse because of what this individual is doing instead of paying attention to their child

838
01:07:25,400 --> 01:07:31,560
we all have seen how technology makes our lives much more difficult these days to be parents and

839
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:35,960
it's oftentimes you know our kids that are on the technology or that that opens up a whole world

840
01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:41,160
for them that we know is dangerous and don't want to be a part of or in this case mom's not paying

841
01:07:41,160 --> 01:07:44,760
attention at all to the children because she's way too worried about her social media account

842
01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:54,200
you'll see the moving traffic and you'll see this toddler walking off towards the traffic and

843
01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:59,000
looks she's going nuts no honey oh oh god oh I better go right out there before the toddler gets hit

844
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:10,760
by a vehicle now the child didn't get hurt and was warned by another child the mother did make

845
01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:19,000
her father but she was just doing her dance making a little dance the kids walking off towards

846
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:23,800
traffic this kid comes over mommy got stopped look she's about to walk in a traffic she's like no no

847
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:29,640
ladies I'm doing I'm filming here look how good I am with this dance honey look at how good mommy is

848
01:08:29,640 --> 01:08:36,280
mommy can dance wait what she's going where all got oh dear those cars that are coming right by

849
01:08:36,280 --> 01:08:42,440
there yeah those are moving vehicles right there okay good all right I got save her thank you for

850
01:08:42,440 --> 01:08:48,760
letting her see so hard to watch this right so that's that's just one of the bad parents so that's bad

851
01:08:48,760 --> 01:08:53,640
right that's bad you're distracted in this case she was self-destracted because she was worried about her

852
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:57,800
video that she was shooting yeah I think I think the video like shooting the video

853
01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:04,120
social tiktokie whatever the house she's doing right being more important than

854
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:11,240
caring for her kids that she yeah she's an auto auto admit I mean there's one thing we learned about

855
01:09:11,240 --> 01:09:17,160
the current cover your only fans video with your family uh the same business and the

856
01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:20,920
kids rounding in the pool is that you know you were busy doing something else when you should have

857
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:26,280
been concerned about your kids in this case this one now comes and I'm gonna I I'll let you decide

858
01:09:26,280 --> 01:09:33,800
I think I give this woman a little bit more leeway um because she's um she's doing something

859
01:09:33,800 --> 01:09:40,360
at the house frankly for the child but she's not watching the child as we'll see in this video watch

860
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:46,680
behind her as she's doing something see that there's a child over here that's about to go down the

861
01:09:46,680 --> 01:09:55,160
stairs and well good and it goes down all mighty and she that's her following the child down the

862
01:09:55,160 --> 01:10:05,800
stairs that's how the hell though too like oh I it looks like she's cleaning up she was doing some sort

863
01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:10,680
this is all from a like a ring cam in the house and she's doing sort of cleaning up after I don't

864
01:10:10,680 --> 01:10:17,480
know a christmasy type of wrapping present party and stuff and stuff like that and she's like I'm

865
01:10:17,480 --> 01:10:21,800
just picking this up got plenty of time she doesn't realize the the little toddler that's crawling

866
01:10:21,800 --> 01:10:27,320
hands and knees right there uh and he's looking at her sees it she's cleaning up she's taking her

867
01:10:27,320 --> 01:10:32,440
time she got a lot of stuff to clean up of your glue guns and ribbons and cotton and stuff and

868
01:10:32,440 --> 01:10:39,320
right over to the left is the doorway it's like a uh split level house stairs that go right down

869
01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:44,840
the front and she's not watching as he starts crawling over in his diapers and then

870
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:52,520
fuck and he goes she hears the thud at the bottom step by the way and that's when she goes

871
01:10:52,520 --> 01:11:05,880
I mean she I tend to think she got a little of what she deserved yes I mean here's the thing

872
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:13,480
about that video the physical comedy in that alone is like is is just I mean it pays it stuff

873
01:11:13,480 --> 01:11:17,560
off it pays the dividends right because if she's legend there if she hadn't if she'd just walked

874
01:11:17,560 --> 01:11:22,760
down the or even jumped down the steps to you know it'd been fine nothing still give me the

875
01:11:22,760 --> 01:11:28,840
fact that she yeah she eats shit on the way down the stairs and here's the best part I think of

876
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:32,920
the whole video I don't know if you noticed the surre-nai yeah but there's a little baby gate

877
01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:39,400
yes that yeah it's really is separate good like in front of the stairway it's right here sitting

878
01:11:39,400 --> 01:11:43,560
up against the wall and there's like there's a couple of toys in a box there like she was doing

879
01:11:43,560 --> 01:11:48,840
something like wrapping yeah baby gate like okay put the baby gate up right like it should be

880
01:11:48,840 --> 01:11:54,520
right there mom it's right there like you maybe you just got this kid up from its nap I don't know

881
01:11:54,520 --> 01:11:59,400
but shouldn't the first thing because you got steps there baby gate is put the baby gate because

882
01:11:59,400 --> 01:12:04,360
especially if you know your kid is mobile and moving around I mean right you know the

883
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:13,160
so the kid goes down and then mom goes down but here's the best part you ready listen for the

884
01:12:13,160 --> 01:12:23,480
thud listen for the thud okay go I mean okay shit my kid went down the stairs right

885
01:12:23,480 --> 01:12:30,680
reacts like I mean like most bears should react like shit my kid just went down and then she wipes out

886
01:12:31,160 --> 01:12:39,080
the shoe wipes out she takes the box the presents and the baby gate with her down the stairs yes

887
01:12:39,080 --> 01:12:45,800
like all this shit piling on her head it's the floor probably on top of the child as well

888
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:54,760
all right so I mean a terrible parenting yeah like comedy gold comedy gold and and Martin

889
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:59,080
short couldn't have done it better himself what where you couldn't you really know I mean he would

890
01:12:59,080 --> 01:13:06,440
have broken hip yeah and I was also true that is also true we have to take one of these parents out of

891
01:13:06,440 --> 01:13:12,280
the mix one of them will not be put into well technically we should just put one in and and

892
01:13:12,280 --> 01:13:18,200
to get left off to the side when you're thinking about this Chad think out loud with me here which one

893
01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:26,280
of those three between the go climb on the steer the dancing in front of traffic or Christmas

894
01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:32,520
presents down the stairs which one of those three do you think should be entered into the worst

895
01:13:32,520 --> 01:13:37,320
parent of twenty twenty five category because here's the thing that I'll say if I'm just trying to make a

896
01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:44,760
case the mom who was doing the dancing uh granite she was more focused on herself uh then the kid sure

897
01:13:44,760 --> 01:13:50,600
she was able to save the kids so that's a good thing but the dad who paid the toddler to go climb

898
01:13:50,600 --> 01:13:56,840
onto the back of a steer that then got bucked from the steer that's just an asshole move I don't care

899
01:13:56,840 --> 01:14:01,400
who you are like if he had done that for teenager you the teenagers would be like no fuck you dad I'm

900
01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:09,240
not doing that you're saying there's no way clearly of the three that you have shared with us to enter

901
01:14:09,240 --> 01:14:17,960
yeah yeah yeah yeah he's on the cow right he he enters before the other got to right he's got to

902
01:14:17,960 --> 01:14:24,040
because he's intentionally an asshole here he's intentionally doing something that he knows is a very

903
01:14:24,040 --> 01:14:30,280
high risk of hurting his child a child that is not big enough to I think take a Christopher Reeve

904
01:14:30,280 --> 01:14:35,560
fall off the back of a fucking steer because you're paying twenty bucks to man up you know what I mean

905
01:14:35,560 --> 01:14:42,840
right right and the fact of the video ends right before we find out what happens but he's launched

906
01:14:42,840 --> 01:14:49,320
he's clearly launched there's no he doesn't go sliding down the back of the tail on the cow he gets

907
01:14:49,320 --> 01:14:55,560
launched from here as he's about to step on he climbs over the cows trying to get up and then all of

908
01:14:55,560 --> 01:15:04,280
a sudden boom he's in the air that last see he's got a flip he's got a flip I mean at least his

909
01:15:04,280 --> 01:15:09,320
the wind is knocked out of that kid yeah look at here we go again one more time for the funsies

910
01:15:10,280 --> 01:15:20,200
boom oh you can see yeah he's right there yeah it's like okay the cow is gonna buck and throw him another

911
01:15:20,200 --> 01:15:26,120
15 or 20 feet so for me that one that kid has going for him though is he's a kid right most of his

912
01:15:26,120 --> 01:15:32,840
body is cartilage right he's he doesn't have bones per se at this point so if he's gonna break some

913
01:15:32,840 --> 01:15:37,400
stuff it's gonna be cartilage let's be honest and that doesn't hurt his bad as breaking bones if

914
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:41,880
there's a time for you to take if there's a time for you to take a Christopher Eve kind of dive this

915
01:15:41,880 --> 01:15:45,960
would be the time to do it right when you're three right we're a little bit better I mean I've

916
01:15:45,960 --> 01:15:50,680
developed mental stuff sure I mean the you also because of that you also don't have a fully

917
01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:56,360
developed skull which could lead to a brain injury of some kind but also also a problem you've got

918
01:15:56,360 --> 01:16:01,080
years to deal you got learned years to learn how to deal with something like that well and it's

919
01:16:01,080 --> 01:16:07,000
very possible that the father based on his judgment here was also put into the same situation

920
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:12,760
cracked his skull when he was three which is why his decision making is poor does sound does sound

921
01:16:12,760 --> 01:16:17,320
like that so we can agree that the steer dad is the one that you're dead and your head goes he

922
01:16:17,320 --> 01:16:24,440
works on yeah for more parent of 2025 contest okay my god parents could you guys suck all in all of

923
01:16:24,440 --> 01:16:29,640
them like I look the fact that she tumbled down the stairs made it worthwhile like okay she she got

924
01:16:29,640 --> 01:16:35,560
as good as she gave but the steer yeah that's the dude I know I'm no I'm actually hurting your child

925
01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:43,800
yeah like neglect like we all drop our guard I mean I lost my kid at some point in time I what

926
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:50,520
we they're here in Austin there's a trail of lights you know where you can walk through all these

927
01:16:50,520 --> 01:16:55,960
lights and christmas lights and stuff we called it the trail of tears obviously because we had kids

928
01:16:55,960 --> 01:17:01,720
and it sucked to go with them in you know 20 minutes in there were they were done yeah and crying

929
01:17:01,720 --> 01:17:07,480
and but but at that trail of tears we lost a kid for I don't know five minutes or so like it was just

930
01:17:07,480 --> 01:17:13,720
big giant group of people the churn you got one kid over here the kid over here takes off so it

931
01:17:13,720 --> 01:17:18,280
happens it happens it does intentionally hurting your kid intentionally you're in you're in

932
01:17:18,280 --> 01:17:24,280
you're on the list and I'm paying him 20 bucks for what could be future brain damage 20 and 20

933
01:17:24,280 --> 01:17:32,760
bucks come on dad 20 bucks buck up dude pay 200 well that's we'll leave that with you for a very

934
01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:39,560
merry christmas and happy what'll be 2025 is we start to decide who the worst parent of 20 25 is

935
01:17:39,560 --> 01:17:45,160
that's gonna be on the way here shortly so for mr. Chad and myself a very merry christmas to

936
01:17:45,160 --> 01:17:51,240
everybody very happy new year to everybody and I will catch you guys in 2025 for the dad's home podcast

937
01:17:52,120 --> 01:18:08,280
see ya my sweet baby keep up my soul I know sometimes I'm out of control yorey only reason I keep on coming

938
01:18:08,280 --> 01:18:18,200
yore the only reason I keep on coming yeah yore the only reason I keep on coming on

939
01:18:18,200 --> 01:18:28,200
[MUSIC]

940
01:18:28,200 --> 01:18:29,220
Ow.

941
01:18:29,220 --> 01:18:31,900
(audience laughing)